What Adoption means to me

When I look at my kids, I don't have the privilege of seeing my color in their eyes. I don't see my grandma's hands which are like my mom's which are like mine. I don't get to compare baby photos and see who looks like me or my husband. I don't get to say, "Well she acts just like I did when I was little." Does that bother me? Sometimes. Do I dwell on it? Absolutely not! What ultimately makes a family? I've had someone ask me, "Are you their real mother?" Well if you want to get technical, did I have the joy of feeling their growth inside me, pour my love into their well being and get the distinct honor of being there for the delivery? No I didn't, but I can most assuredly say, YES, I am their real mother. What makes a mother? Blood? Ask all the kids abandoned on the street, thrown in the dumpster, aborted before they even have a chance. Does the person that carried them get that title because of a blood relation?

To me a mother is someone who will rock you at night when she is so exhausted and only wants to go to sleep but will rock you anyway because you matter more. A mother will go to ends of the earth to pay a lawyer and fight for the right to keep you, raise you and love you. A mother will look you in the eye and tell you the truth about your past, even if that past is hurtful and hard to hear. A mother will encourage you to succeed, celebrate and motivate you every day. A mother is a personal cheerleader. Someone who will stand strong and be a voice for you when you are too small to have a voice. We have an adoption poem in our family and it goes like this:


Adoption is love
Love is family
Family is forever

I wasn't there in the beginning but God said I get to be there in the end! He chose my children for me. It's a great honor to be an adoptive parent and it's one I don't take lightly. I love that I get to be there for all of my children's needs. Please don't think our life is picture perfect. It is far from it! But we love each other, stick up for each other and want each other to succeed! How much more real can it get?

Weather Unit 101

This week we are going to do a unit on the weather. We have had an unusually warm spring and it has been fabulous! We are going to learn about the different types of clouds, spring storms, animals born in spring, temperature changes and basically anything else to do with the weather. We will read a ton of books on the weather, draw and write about the weather, watch the weather channel, etc. I fully expect my children to be professional meteorologists by Friday! ;)

My eating has been off plan this week, but I have walked a lot, so that has to count for something! I am learning that this weight didn't come on overnight and as much as I would like to awaken one day and see my teenage body on my 32 year old self, it's not gonna happen! One day at a time...one step at a time.


Easter on the back deck! I am so blessed!

Weightloss= Hard Work!

I am down 18.8 lbs since January. It's going to be a long, long journey for me. I am learning some things about myself since I decided to really get serious about my journey to health.

1. It is really hard to lose weight and stick with it! This should be a no brainer of course, but I have always had success and about 3 months into a new diet or routine, I quit. I have crossed over the 3 month mark and everything in me wants to quit, but I am determined. I am praying a lot for God's help in this. I am learning to really trust in Him in all things.

2. I have learned a few triggers that really mess up my progress. I love to cook and a lot of times I will make desert for Frankie and the kids. If it is a cake or some kind of pastry type desert, I can not resist it. No matter if I tell my self I will only smell and look at it from afar, it ultimately ends up in my belly! The same with ice cream. So now if I make something, I have a serving, wrap up the rest and put it in Frankie's truck to take to work the next day. I'll never deprive myself, but I sure don't have to eat half a cake in one sitting.

3. Another trigger I have is social situations. If you put me in a group setting with food, I am going to eat. You always hear the experts say, "Eat before you go to a party and then you will be full and not eat so much at the party." Whoever came up with that line of bull needs to be whipped! Even if my belly is full to bursting, I will eat a desert or something because everyone else is and I feel the need to do the same. Why? I think for me it's associated with good feelings, fellowship, family memories of cookouts and fun. Whatever it is, it's dangerous for me until I figure out how to control it.

4. Failures in my life are a trigger for me. Satan loves to remind me of my infertility and inability to carry a child and used a lunch date with some dear women friends the other day to remind me as they discussed childbirth and pregnancy. I totally forgot about watching my meal portion and instead fed my hurt. Now don't get me wrong, I am a mommy and I adore my children. But I will always struggle with my infertility. Most days, with the Lord's help I am fine. That day, satan saw a crack and wedged his way into my thoughts.

I have to keep sight of the long term goal. I don't want to be a diabetic. I don't want to die an early death. I have dreams and goals I want to achieve. In order to get to those goals, some weight has to come off. I was walking the other day and just burst out crying as I realized how far I had to go. But I am so thankful for God's grace. He is so gentle in His love and encouragment. I can turn to Him anytime with a burden and He always takes it away. One day at a time, one step at a time.

Thankful

My blog today is about things I am thankful for. It's so easy in today's world to get down and out when things are not going how we want. Financial stress, debt, worrying about my husband getting work, my health, problems in my family and just general evil in this world can really get me down! But I am so thankful that there is a simple solution. One word: God. He can take all of that stress today, tomorrow, forever just by me simply being humble, obedient and submissive to His will. When I align myself to God's will, no matter what is happening around me, I have peace within. That is a good feeling. I can count on the Lord. I am truly thankful for that.

I am thankful for my husband. What a good man he is. He loves me and the children and is not afraid to get up every day and work for us so that I have the privilege to stay home and homeschool the children. Something that bothers me sometimes about people's view of our life is when I hear people say, "Well, if you went back to teaching, you could eliminate the stress on his shoulders, have health insurance, yadda yadda yadda....". Well that would be easier, but not necessarily better. You see what they don't realize is that I have to stand before the Lord one day and give an account to how I obeyed His call on my life. And I can honestly say that for us, homeschooling is a calling. It's hard and exhausting, but the rewards of seeing the children grow and learn are worth the sacrifice.

I am thankful for my children. What a joy they are to me! Because we spend so much time together, I really know them. When we first adopted them, I didn't know them. My daughter was (and still is) a drama queen and at 3 would throw awful fits. It was puzzling to us because we were so inexperienced as parents and we didn't know how to handle a moody toddler. My son at 2 would hit, punch, bite us when angry or upset. Again with no previous experience, it was a lot of parenting trial and error learning just what makes these kiddos tick. When I look at them now and see how happy they are, how well-adjusted they are (and believe me if you are an adoptive parent, well-adjusted is a good thing) I am thankful. God has been good to us.

I am thankful for my family. My sisters are precious to me and my parents are the rock in our family. They are so supportive of my homeschooling ventures and encourage me to succeed. As Easter approaches, I am most thankful for my salvation. Because God sent His precious Son to die for me, I get the pleasure of an eternal relationship with Him! Thank You Lord!

What are you thankful for?

Still Trucking right along!

Ok...somebody smack me. Has it really been a month since I wrote in my blog? What am I thinking? This has been such a great outlet for me and I have neglected it. I will try to do better!:)
I can not even begin to tell you how glad I am that spring is on it's way. It was a loooong winter. A great one, with lots of snow, but long nonetheless. My children are glad for fresh air and outside time (so is momma, lol).

I am still doing weight watchers. I am down about 15 lbs. Before you start screaming for joy at my incredible loss, that is like losing a golf ball off my behind! I still have a tremendous amount to lose, but slow and steady wins the race.

I was so mad this week when I went to my meeting and was up .8 of a lb. Now I know it's not much but I was really good this week, did everything right and even exercised 4-5 times. But I am attributing this to a certain thing that happens once a month for all of the female race :( Maybe next week I'll have a Biggest Loser week and pull like a double digit loss! I can dream can't I?

Homeschooling is going well. I forget how far we have come and sometimes get frustrated when things don't move as fast as I want. But I have a kindergartner and first grader and both are starting to read, praise the Lord! They aren't ready for a novel, but they can put a dent in Dr. Seuss, lol! I sometimes find it hard to believe that I have a 6 and 7 year old. I waited so long for children and they have been the biggest blessings in my life!

Here they are outside when we had a huge snow in the middle of
February.














My son loves snow cream!









They had a ball sledding!









Until my daughter crashed in the briars, lol!









Oh yeah....one last thing. We got a new couch, it's so pretty!

Vacation Time!

We are currently on vacation at an indoor water park and it is a ball! I think what is so exciting is the fact that we can swim and be warm in the middle of February! That is truly exciting! It is freezing here in Tennessee. Winters are usually mild, but for some reason this year is reminding me of my childhood. Lovely snow every few weeks and lots of soups and inside time. It's also a really hard time for me mentally. Being a homeschool mom, this is a month where we are usually starting to climb the walls for some outside time. I am so thankful for this break this week! I told my husband that weekly dates were mandatory this month for my sanity. Momma needs some alone time with her honey :0) And you know that golden rule about momma being happy, well....it's true!!!!

Here are some pictures of our trip. The kids had a blast!



Our condo was gorgeous and amazing! We were able to go with our friends and we had a great time. This dining room table will fit 10 people easy! It was the play area for the children.

Treasure a Friend!

I want to write today about a good friend that moved away recently. What a blessing she and her husband were to my family. They joined our church 3 or 4 years ago and we hit it off from the start! They didn't have any children at the time but now have a beautiful one year old. I know that God put them in our path for a reason. I have some great friends, but my husband and I wanted friends that we could hang and run around with. He answered a prayer with Melinda and Travis. Their families lived far away and we quickly became their extended family. With the economy in the dirt, we stopped eating out on Sunday's and they would come over to the house and eat with us. Since they lived 30 minutes from church and we lived 5 it just made sense to hang at our house.
What a great time we had for a few years! We would come home from church, eat, play games or watch a movie, play outside, take walks, eat some more and just enjoy each other's company. But all good things must come to an end. Travis got a job in another state and now we are long distance friends. If I need a prayer warrior, I know who to call. We will still visit and they will always be a part of our lives, but I miss them terribly.
Now on Sunday's, we come home, eat and take naps, or watch t.v., sometimes play games. We've been in a slump lately. Sometimes I slip in my room and read my Bible, pray or journal. If you have great christian friends, cherish each moment. I hope we were as much a blessing to them as they were to us. God has opened up some doors with some old friends that homeschool and has introduced new friends! I thank Him! He is so good to me. I will always miss my Sunday buddies and the memories we made, but God has a plan for both of us. I'm so thankful he is in control!