A painful weekend

I had one of the worst weekends I've had personally in a long time.  My cycle finally arrived, yay!  Not having a cycle since October has had me worried.  With PCOS and endometriosis, I knew when it finally arrived it was going to be a doozy.  I had been cramping for about 2 weeks prior to starting and knew my endometriosis was flaring up.  There is just a pain I can't describe with having endo.  It's certainly not anything I would wish on my worst enemy.

Saturday, I went to the grocery store.  I woke up in a cranky mood and really wanted to stay home.  We had had a majorly busy week and I needed food.  Frankie was working so off I went with the kids.  I had no more gotten in the car then the cramping started.  I just figured it would go away like the other times in the last two weeks and ignored it and went on to town.

The pain just kept intensifying as I shopped.  By the time we got done and got in the car, I was nearly in tears.  It was a full blown endo flare up.  I just knew I had started.  You don't cramp like that for no good reason.  We had planned on doing other things in town but I just headed home in a pain filled fog.  I didn't have any ibuprofen with me so suffered until I got home.

Once I got home and realized I had started I knew I was in for some rough days. With PCOS I never know how my cycle is going to be.  Sometimes I can have a normal (well, normal to me) period and other times its like it was this weekend.  The bleeding started that afternoon and boy did I bleed.  I was soaking two pads in an hour.  All I could do was lay in bed and moan and cry.  Bless my husbands heart, he went to town, got me a heating pad and took such good care of me.  He knows how quickly my well-being deteriorates when it gets this bad.  We've been down too many roads of blood transfusions, hospital stays and surgeries.

When you are laying in bed and you have taken a 600 mg prescribed ibuprofen and it is not touching your cramps, satan loves to attack me.  "Look at how broken you are", "If God loved you, He would heal your body and you would be able to have babies."  I have to admit I wasn't strong this weekend and the devil absolutely whipped my tail!  When you are in so much pain you just want to rip out your uterus, nothing can console you.  I knew so many THM ladies on Facebook might have some suggestions for ways to help with my pain and bleeding.  I immediately started asking online for advice on how to deal with my pain.  Here are some things I did that helped me tremendously.

I made a lavender oil and peppermint oil salve using drops of each with coconut oil as the carrier and rubbed all over my tummy.  I soaked Castor oil in flannel and placed it over my lower abdomen and put the heating pad over this for 45 minutes.  I did this twice Sunday and slept like a baby pain free Sunday night.

I also bought some bilberry and red raspberry leaf tea.  Both are supposed to help with cramps.  I'll have these on hand for the next cycle.  I love ibuprofen but it makes my bleeding worse.

The biggest thing I did to help with bleeding was to start taking apple cider vinegar. I take 2 tsp in a glass of water 2-3 times a day.  I started doing this about a 2 years ago when I was researching ways to help slow my bleeding naturally.  You ever been to earthclinic?  It's a great resource for natural remedies.  I can and have bled for 60 days before, so I know if it goes past a week of heavy bleeding, it's too much.  The vinegar was a life saver.  It will slow my flow in two days and by day 3 or 4 I am almost completely done with my period.  It's a miracle cure drug!

You may be wondering why in the world I am devoting a whole post to my period.  Well, it's a part of me and every other woman I know.  As I am on this weight loss journey, I know that it's going to take a long time for my body to heal.  I thought eating lower carb/sugar free would make my cycles somewhat normal.  My body is more messed up than I thought.  I know God will heal my body.  He has given me a brain that loves to research and find natural remedies to help myself.  I will get there, eventually.  He's my anchor.  My rock.  I am nothing without Him.  And He says in His word, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

NOT BROKEN

Take that devil!

Revival is in the air!

What a busy, busy week I've had!  I have had the privilege of going to a town about 45 minutes from my house and hearing an awesome preacher C.T. Townsend from Asheville, NC this week.  We've been every night except Wednesday when we went to our church.  But being in revival this week and seeing at least 15 people give their hearts to Jesus has made me so excited for Easter.  Boy, do I love Easter!  I get so excited for it every year.  Its the BEST Christian holiday in my opinion.  If Jesus had never rose from the grave, I would have no hope today.  But Thank God, I have hope!!

I've been babysitting all week and tomorrow will keep a 13 month old, an 18 month old and a 3 year old.  All boys!  I will be wore out, I just know.  It's been tricky trying to figure out how to homeschool and keep kids occupied at the same time. I've been spoiled with my 9 and 10 year old children.  Today while one child was napping, I read the kids their history.  For this season in my life, I just have to fit it in where I can lol :)  I am so thankful for the extra money right now.  It is buying my groceries. 

I am settling into a THM groove.  I love all the food I eat and enjoy cooking thoroughly. I feel so good eating gluten free and sugar free.  I'm having to learn to pre-make things when I can since I'm so so busy during the day babysitting.  I am such a slow loser and I think I may be down a pound this week.  We shall see in the morning!  I am slowly re-reading the book again and letting it really sink in.  I also am on the facebook page way too much, but love giving and receiving wonderful advice from so many awesome people. 

I finally was able to order some supplements this week.  I have cod liver oil, inositol and vitex coming.  I'm hoping that I will finally have a period.  I know it may take several weeks, but I'm trying so hard to have a cycle naturally and not go to the doctor for medicine.  So I'm willing to wait as long as it takes to have a normal cycle.  I truly believe I will have one eventually ;)

Have a blessed weekend!

Oh and I'm going to try really hard to actually exercise next week.  I admit to doing absolutely nothing except chase small children around for the last month.  I will try and do better!

On a losing streak!

I completed a fuel cycle week this week and lost 3.8 lbs.  So that makes me officially at 19 lbs down since Christmas.  Some of the mamas on the Facebook page have lost so much more than me, but I am apparently a slow as Methuselah loser so I will still be trying to lose weight next march!  Thats OK, because for the first time in my life I have a plan for success.  The Trim Healthy Mama book is changing my life!  And the best part is I get to meet Pearl and Serene (the authors) tomorrow at a THM luncheon in Nashville.  I can't wait.  And of course stopping at Trader Joes will be the cherry on the cake. 

God has blessed my family recently.  I knew I would need to do something for extra income, whether it be get a job or babysit.  Every application I filled out or inquired about fizzled out.  I could never get peace about leaving my home at night and working.  God has called me to be a stay at home mom and I want to obey His will.  So I took a chance and put an ad on our local swap and shop about babysitting.  You would not believe the response!  So many calls and inquiries.  Now I have two little ones to keep part time which will bring in about 100 dollars a week.  I'm hoping to keep a few more but want to get my routine down with these two before I advertise for more.  I still have to homeschool my own and keep my house going.  I'll tell you one thing.  I forgot how busy 3 year olds are lol!  But so sweet too.  God is so good and worthy of my praise this morning!

My kids dressed up in cowboy gear. Notice my sons crooked shirt hahaha!

Date nights derail me!

So Saturday night my lovely parents kept all the grand-kids for an overnight stay, so my husband and I planned a date night.  I was so high from losing 2 lbs that week and I had been so good for so long that I decided to have a cheat meal.  BAD IDEA!  We went to a steakhouse and I already knew I was going to have a crossover meal with steak, veggies, salad and bread with butter.  I was fine with this decision.  After supper, we did some shopping and then my husband wanted to go to his favorite donut shop.  It's a local shop with cute retro stools to sit on and order some great donuts.  We don't go here often and I hated to deny him.   I knew I couldn't stand the temptation of going in to eat so we went through the drive-thru to get him some donuts.

Why didn't I listen to that inner voice that said, "McKinsey, you know that the minute you get home, you are going to have some of those donuts with a big glass of milk."  Of course I told my head that I am STRONG, I've had a great week, I've lost weight and I WILL NOT eat them.

I'm sorry to say I lost the battle with my head.  I DID eat those donuts that night.  And the next morning too.  Which then set me into a pattern of 2/3 on plan, 1/3 off for the next 4 days.  UGH!  I feel achy, puffy and bloated.  It's not that I'm worried that I have gained weight, cause I know once I get back on track, in two days I will be fine.  It's that I allowed those old patterns to emerge.  In thinking that I am strong enough to withstand these temptations,  I took my eyes off my goals.  That has cost me 5 days.  Which does more to hurt me mentally than physically.  I have such a looooong way to go that 5 days is a lot of time to be wishy washy.  I'm starting a fuel cycle in two days.  I have two days to get my act together and prepare.  Doing this with a great group of ladies has helped so much. 

I will continue to fight this war, but the battle is kicking my tail at the moment.

Finally!

After 4 weeks of up and down, up and down with the same two pounds, I have broken from that plateau and was down 2.4 lbs this morning. 

So that puts my official loss at 18 lbs since Christmas.  18 lbs I will never see again!!!

Thank you Lord!


I'm planning on joining several ladies online for a fuel cycle week which is a very clean version of eating the Trim Healthy Mama way.  In January when I did the fuel cycle week I lost 4.6 lbs but then I plateaued for several weeks!  Any loss is a loss in the right direction!

Have a blessed weekend Mamas!  Its snowing here in beautiful Tennessee, I have the fire going and good books to read.