Am I sabotaging myself?

I've been doing THM for six months now.  I absolutely love eating gluten and sugar free.  I feel great when I stick with it.  But here lately, well two months to be exact, I have had the hardest time staying on plan.  I keep losing and gaining the same 5 lbs over and over and over.  It is frustrating to say the least.  I do well for a week or two and then BAM!  I go to a party, cook-out, church dinner, etc and get completely off track for a few days.  Then I get back on track and then WHAM!  I go on a date night and feel like treating myself and have a cheat meal and then the next morning feel horrible and eat off plan again and then it takes several days to get back on track again.

AM I PURPOSELY SABOTAGING MYSELF???

Some people have this insane ability that they can go to social functions and eat what they are supposed to and never have trouble and then lose 50 lbs in the same six months it has taken me to lose 20.

I would like to smack these people.  :)

Losing weight is HARD!  I have found a way that I am successful, I feel great, I am regaining my health, but I STILL am struggling.  There are times I have cried out to the Lord in frustration.  "Lord, am I going to be overweight for the rest of my life?"  "Why can't I stay on track?"  I am reminded that we live in a fallen world.  Life is not meant to be easy all the time.  I have an enemy who wants me to fail.  He would like me to stay in this frustrated state so that I am not useful to God.  I remind him that I have a Father who can!

I deserve to be healthy and happy.  I want to honor God and take care of the one body He gave me.  It's going to be a long, uphill battle to get this weight off me.  I WILL do it!  It won't be today, tomorrow or probably even by next spring, but I know that at some point in my future, I will be the Trim Healthy Mama that I want to be.