Where the rubber meets the road

Life throws some curve balls and boy has this week been one big one!  I'm facing going back to work to help us out on some major financial difficulties we are experiencing right now.  It is so not what I want to do.  But I can not justify staying home while we struggle so much financially.  I have a college degree and was a public school teacher in another lifetime before becoming a momma and staying home.  My hearts desire is to home school and we will just have to work our life around that goal.  I'm looking at maybe getting a night job so I can continue to school during the day.  Another option would be to babysit but I'm hesitant about that because I don't like being tied to the house.  My kids need to get out and go see friends, visit the library, etc...    'sigh', I can't get peace about any of it right now. 

I stress ate today, twice.  It's stressing me out to think about the junk I ate today.  I will pay for it tonight when I toss and turn from eating sugar.  And then I'll pay for it tomorrow when I feel hungover from wheat.  Honestly none of the food I ate was that great.  It's times like this when the enemy loves to whisper in my ear of what a failure I am.  But I won't listen.  I feel like I am at a crossroads.  I'm at the two month mark of eating this way and most diets I have attempted before, I am done about this time.  Life is about choices.  I've made so many bad choices in the way I eat and take care of my body.  I'm not willing to compromise any more.  My life depends on me staying on the right track.  I know that if I remain overweight and unhealthy, it's only a matter of time before disease and possibly cancer hit my future.  It's a sobering thought.  I really need to "gird up my loins" and prepare for battle!  My pastor says, "this is where the rubber meets the road", meaning, it's time to be serious.  Serious about my health,  my weight and my attitude.